Concerns Rise over the State of the Okenshields Music Playlist

Known for having the best musical selection of any dining hall on campus, Okenshields has recently come under fire from detractors for having an 'out of date' playlist.

Happiest Dave Wearing Airpods

Peace be upon you, brothers. Recently, some posts on the r/cornell subreddit on reddit.com have provoked controversy over the state of the Okenshields music selection. Posts have been quick to cite the playlist as full of "throwback" music from the early 2000s. Some have even gone so far as to say that the music selection at Okenshields is "bad"or "old".

After getting wind of this I went to the great and honorable Happiest Dave to ask his thoughts on this controversy, but without even needing to ask Happy Dave knew what I was thinking and began to sing his own rendition of the currently playing song. I was stunned. With grace and majesty not unlike and eagle our saint Happiest Dave sang his song, and at its conclusion he looked to me with a smile so full of joy and happiness that I also fainted on the spot.

This most holy of events brought me to the obvious realization that the music at Okenshields is not in fact terrible, but rather an extension of Happiest Dave himself, and none should fear the awe-inspiring power of Happy Dave's musical talent. So remember: if you ever feel that the music at Okenshields is "old" or "bad", it is simply the demons in your body being shunned away by the bright light of Happiest Dave, so listen long enough and soon enough the dark demons of the Ivy Room will escape your body and you will be free of their grasp, just as Happy Dave has instructed of us.